conversations with myself

Want Out

I want out. I’m over this whole training program, I’m over London, I’m over waking up each morning in that hotel bed, over catching that same over-crowded tube every morning, over this little niggly things that get to you when they build up some steam over time.

I’m over the taste of the water, which is crap. I’m over the crap food. I’m over the old buildings. I’m over the lack of good options for lunch. Over autumn in October, over talking platitudes all the time, over the grey skies and tiny streets and the sheer quaintness of it all.

I just want to get home and sleep in my bed and watch my familiar TV and play my familiar games and eat my familiar food. I’ve never missed mum’s food like I do now. I’m waiting, waiting waiting to be back home, back with the family, back with my old friends, habits ever unchanging. I want to get back to my car and drive down to the beach and jump in the water and enjoy the sun.

And yet…

Living in a different country is something I’ve always wanted to do.

And when I’m not feeling like I just want to go home and lie down, I’m loving the fact that I am here, that I have so many people around who are always willing to get out and about and have fun, that I am so centrally placed in a large city with a comprehensive transport network, that all this is basically a holiday and the last chance I’ll really get to learn new things in a classroom-esque environment (though I never feel that I could return to study). It’s like I’m bipolar about it.

And I really know that all I need is some good food from mum (and all the things that go with that) to solve the problem, dammit.

10 replies on “Want Out”

I was about to say the same thing as Peter. I think it happens to most people, but I’m sure you’ll be glad you’ve had the experience, even if you’re about ready for it to end. In less than a month you’ll be down here in Melbourne partying it up, so there’s an end in sight. Don’t forget to enjoy the time you have left there, it’s not the sort of thing you get a lot of chances at. :)

hey, long time no see. although in london now huh? well it does seem a bit like a drag the way you described it (to tell you the truth that’s how i imagined it would be). If you like being centrally placed—try living at UCLA. I’m appreciating it more and more all the time. With my aunt’s help I may get the chance to live in beijing for a few months sometime, so maybe i’ll get to experience culture shock for myself… well, there are people playing what sounds like a lame version of basketball in my hallway and banging into my door…ttyl

Not even an “It’s over” post?
disappointing… hope your trade fair went well.

Now have fun exploring Italy :)

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