Pushing the Sky does not condone the excessive or otherwise illegal consumption of alcohol (beyond your body’s ability to cope with it) and prefaces the following, uh, “game” with the warning that World Cup match that fulfils many of the conditions of this game could leave your body quite broken, and your head dearly regretting in the morning. You may wish to keep a path to the toilet well clear.
Feel free to replace alcohol with a non-liver-damaging drink of your choice, although if you pick tea you may wish to keep the way to the toilet clear anyway.
- A “drink” is at least a mouthful of liquid
- A “sip” must involve liquid passing your lips, not just making a sipping sound. Cheater.
- A “skol” or “scull” or “skull” (you try spelling it) means the whole glass, or however much remains of a glass if you’re less than half way through, in one go.
- Get some mates. Drinking alone is a deep, dark well you do not want to jump in to.
- Rules are enforced by mates. Majority wins.
- Must be watching in a timezone which forces you to be awake at hours of the night no sane person would (i.e. in Australia)
- At the start of every match, line up the glasses/cups/mugs/schooners/bowls/liquid container of choice. Ensure you have sufficient supply. How much is “sufficient” is left as an exercise for the reader.
- For every goal, scull. If Saudi Arabia (or other lucky-to-be-there team) are playing, you may wish to sip instead. To pace yourself.
- If Saudi Arabia scores a goal, scull twice.
- For every corner, drink.
- For every penalty kick, drink.
- If the penalty kick was awarded because of a theatrical fall worthy of a Tony, drink.
- For every hand ball, drink.
- For every offside, sip.
- For every goal denied because of an offside, drink.
- For every free kick, sip.
- If the free kick was awarded for a fall that wouldn’t have looked out of place in Ben Hur, drink.
- For every yellow card, drink.
- For every red card, scull.
- If the yellow or red card follows a fall that could be considered a strong contender for the Best Actor Oscar, scull twice.
- For every time the ball goes out, sip.
- If it looked like it was truly intentional, drink.
- For every time the ball is passed back to the goalie, sip.
- If a goal is scored because of a bad pass back to the goalie, scull.
- If a goal is scored in injury time, scull.
- If the game goes to penalty shoot outs, drink for every miss. If the shootouts are level at 4-4, scull.
- Every time a commentator mentions a previous World Cup, drink.
- If Australia beats one of the teams ranked higher than them (42), drink.
- If Australia beats one of the teams considered one of the “traditional powers”, scull. A few, maybe.
Any more to add? Suggestions welcome =)