conversations with myself

Unpaused Conversations

It’s funny how, with some people, you can start again right in the middle of a conversation. Once you get the pleasantaries over, it’s back to being right there, where you were in when you left. The intervening time adds nothing but new experiences to discuss, or new perspectives on old prejudices. You nearly forget that there’s been time in between.

And yet with others, it takes an effort. An effort to connect again on the level you’d strived to reach before. You know these are friends, and there’s a reason why you’re making that effort to connect again, but none the less an effort you have to make.

You invariably want more friends of the first type, but you know they’re a rare breed, people you’ll only find a few times in a life time, people you need to cherish, your soul-mates in the sense of friends. But the other type, you need them too. They fill the gaps between the soul-friends, they provide that safety net, in a sense. Even if you have to make the effort, the payoff is there.

The terrible analogy you’ve just come up with is that the first type are like DVDs – you can get right to where you were fairly quickly – while the second type are like old VHS tapes – lots of scanning and effort to find the right place.

You think you’ll end it on this note, and grab some sleep. Tomorrow’s right back to that grindstone.


Three Monkeys and a Fruitcake or two

Things are a little political around the place these days, and I hope you’ll indulge me if I post this here instead of my usual place for these things. Long rant ahead.

the daily column

On the Train Today

A couple, probably well into their 60s, if not their 70s. They’re both reading a single broadsheet paper, different parts, each holding their side up with the “outer” hand. In the middle, their hands are clasped lovingly together, assuring each other they are still here, still committed to their relationship, to each other.

My cynicism took a break for that half hour.


The Easter Bunny Hates you

The Easter Bunny Hates You – Furry violence is always inexplicably hilarious

the daily column

Scheduled visits

Just thought I’d note my next two scheduled visits to Melbourne – 14-17th April (easter weekend), and then 25th – (probably) 28th May for my graduation (which is on the 25th, a nice Thursday afternoon that throws out any chance of me returning to work the next day or turning up for work that day). That’s probably going to be it for a while as in winter I’d prefer to get people to come up here where it’s marginally warmer =P

the daily column

Cleaning Day

Things are totally settled now, I’ve run down my list of obligated-to-visit people, I don’t have any pressing items that need to be bought and there’s not a whole lot going down to distract me.


Looking around the house, I realise that perhaps I’ve been neglecting something. Namely neatness. There’s a pile of dishes in the sink, the laundry basket is kind of full – but more tellingly there’s shirts scattered all over my room and they don’t look like they were artfully placed there. There’s dust bunnies accumulated in the empty rooms. Shoes really need a polish. The single plant I have, a shoot of bamboo, is sitting in mostly green water. The grass outside needs cutting before it starts to gets rampant. There’s leaf-litter everywhere from the big stupid gumnut tree right out front. The study room looks like a literary bomb hit it, with books and magazines strewn about the place. Things generally need to be straightened out.

While nothing has gotten truly unhygenic, it’s the kind of mess that’s easily sustainable without any particular effort what so ever, and it’s not conducive to day to day living. So today is cleaning day designate. I’d call it spring cleaning, except it’s not spring, it’s Autumn. It’s more get-your-act-together cleaning. Time to roll up them sleeves and get to it.

pushing the sky

Re: Asides

I was wondering what people thought about the “Asides” – the links I put in occasionally. I’ve only got comments on a few of them, so I don’t know how much people are paying attention to them (I presume not a lot).

However, I’ve been wanting to post more and more links, but I don’t want to turn this into a primarily link blog – I’m just not that great at finding the latest and greatest on the net, so there’s chances you’ve already seen the link by the time I get around to posting it.

So in my redesign, I’m considering the idea of making things simpler and simply moving the links offsite – to Delicious is basically optimised for posting those links, and I’ve found that it’s easier to just tag and post to delicious than go to the effort of posting it here.

What do you think? Asides stay or go?

the daily column

Documenting the Day

6:45 – Alarm goes off. I reach out and switch it to the radio.

7:04 – Swear, get out of bed. Do the whole morning thing.

7:59 – Start breakfast while watching Sunrise for weather & news. Out the door by 8:09.

8:16 – At station waiting for 8:24 express to city.

9:15 – Log in to computers, read overnight email from London & NY. Catch up on bloglines.

9:45 – Start looking at work. Synchronise with overnight work from others, move into “work” mode

10:40ish – Get up, stretch, fill waterbottle, have small snack (still very much in the ‘Recess’ mindset).

12:23 – Update blog

12:56 – Leave desk for lunch

1:05 – Pay exorbitant price for sushi box, thinking “Hey, I haven’t sushi in a while…”

1:21 – Try to remember why it was so long between ordering sushi box for lunch. Ah, that’s right, because it doesn’t half fill me up.

1:24 – Order garlic bread/toast type thing. Walk away satisfied with salty, garlicy, buttery goodness.

1:34 – decide not much interested in sitting by the harbour with seagulls swooping all around me and return to work.

1:39 – Update blog.

3:15 – “Happy Hour” coffee, $1, not brilliant but does the job.

4:35 – crack Stupid Bug which has been occupying my time for the last day or so. Celebrate.

5:30 – Weekly update meeting thing. Realise there’s a lot of stuff to do yet.

6:10 – Update blog. Leave for home.

7:17 – Arrive home, consider what to cook.

7:25 – Reheat leftovers from the weekend. Suppress stomach growls while waiting for microwave with orange juice.

7:34 – Switch on Channel 10 for new show “Thank God you’re here”. I think it’s pretty funny actually, despite some slow moments. Improv is always funny for the fact that it’s so random.

8:36 – Switch between Spicks and Specks, House and The Movie Show (SBS). I eventually settle on Spicks and Specks because I feel like a laugh tonight.

9:04 – bored with house, I go sit on the net for a bit, catching up on forums and downloads.

9:31 – Go back to the TV to watch The Glass House.

9:37 – Remember I have to iron a shirt for tomorrow.

10:07 – pull out sofabed to have a lie down while watching At The Movies, since I didn’t end up watching The Movie Show. Always liked David & Margret better anyway.

1:22 (am) – wake up on the sofa bed, the sounds of the TV having intruded into my dreams. Groggily turn off TV, computer, lights, hit the bed.

End of Day.

pushing the sky

pushing the sky 2.0

Notice anything different around here? No? Hit Refresh. It’s not an April Fool’s joke y’all!

Welcome to pushing the sky 2.0 – no relation to Web 2.0. Really, it’s not. See, even my slogan says so.

In sticking with the principles of Web 2.0, everything and anything is in BETA. This theme is marked as BETA-0.01. It’s got a long way to go, including not hating Internet Explorer so much. And having something beyond blog-comment, but those are the easy bits to get right. Given that I started it from scratch Saturday morning though, and it’s been an otherwise busy weekend, I’m happy with it.

If you are seeing this in IE, you’re… oh dear, you’re missing so much. I’m assured (self-) that it’ll work fine when Internet Explorer 7 lands, but until then, I’m doing to have to sort out a deal for you folks. Needless to say that’s not happening tonight.

Hope y’all like it =)


Dear Diary, part 2

Day 18

Actually getting out from work by the clock to make it in time for that train, those 5 minutes before. She was looking lost in thought today, and my train pulled in first. She looked up and directly at me before my train pulled out, the distance between us halved.

Day 19

She has a boyfriend, it seems. He was carrying flowers, and they were standing hand-in-hand.

Day 24

I know I haven’t written about that girl at the station in the last few days; I guess seeing she had a boyfriend threw whatever notions I may have had out of my head and I started avoiding that train instead of looking forward to it. But I was there again today, and this time she smiled at me. Confused. Seems to be something like a high school crush. How pathetic.

Day 25

As I put my ticket into the gate, she was there next to me – I glanced over and realised with a shock that it was her. I looked up at her face, and she looked back, a flash of recognition in her eyes. We were both late though, and ran to make our trains.

Day 27

Was talking to Ryan when she came up the stairs on the opposite platform. I couldn’t help but look over and give her a smile. Ryan won’t let it go now, and is calling her my station crush, to go with my former train crush, bus crush(es), and that crush when I was working at that pizza place back in uni. Ryan must be eliminated; he knows too much.

Day 30

She was crying today. Just quiet and not too obvious, but she was sitting down and had despair writ large over her face. Totally lacking an idea of how to deal with this. I looked the other way, again confused.

Day 31

She was quite clearly sad. Destroyed my mood for the night, couldn’t stop thinking what to do, or what could have happened. Any number of things, and I can’t do anything. I’m a total stranger.

Day 32/33/34

She’s still pretty sad. Weekend ahead going back to visit the family; will ask Emily for some advice.

Day 37

Serendipity, I believe they call it.

Long(er) story. She was standing in front of the ticket gates lost in thought, seemingly staring up at the next train displays. I saw the chance and stood next to her until she noticed. She looked at me after about a minute with a little bit of shock, I think. Her eyes were still rimmed red.

“Whatever made you lose that smile has got to be something pretty terrible,” I said, not looking at her directly, “so I was wondering if there was anything a stranger could do to help.”

She was silent, and then I looked at her. Her eyes scanned my face intensely, and something tripped a neuron in my head. She looks so damn familiar.

“No way…” she said, a note of disbelief in her voice.

I was lost. And then I saw it too, as the smile crept back onto her face for the first time in days. “Oh you’re kidding, right? After 10 years and on the other side of the world? Only you!” I said, laughing. We hugged for the first time in years.

I’ve found my Rachel again.