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conversations with myself

Bah Humbug

The old scepter rises again. You’ve had your patience tested and emptied before, but over time it builds up again, and you, in your forgiving nature, forget that it happened before. It’s the easiest way to live – in the moment rather than the past – but it does catch you unawares at times, like now. Easy to let things slip and make the same mistakes again. “Only a fool does the same thing twice and expects a different outcome”, the pertinent saying goes.

You don’t want to deal with it today, not right now. You’ve got work and that should keep you busy enough. But you know it’ll be on your mind all day, unless you force yourself to banish it. But not completely – remember the lesson, and hold it close to your chest this time. The sense of betrayal, of being used & discarded, is too great to suffer again.

It’s a fucking grey day. Wait for that blue sky.